It Sucked and then I Cried

Tonya Jean, as promised, here are the pictures:





One of those books has your name on it!

Tales from NW

Earlier this week (like so many times) I circled my car around the neighborhood for twenty minutes, only to find a parking space in a two hour zone. Gave up, parked the car there anyway. Got up before the crack of dawn to move the car to a legal space, but it took ten minutes to find one. Cussed. A lot.

Just now I circled the block around my building three times. No parking. Found a spot four blocks away. Walked to my building only to find an empty parking place right in front. Now, if I go back to my car by the time I get to this new open space in front of my building it will surely be taken. Then I will drive back to the old spot cussing that I wasted my time, and then that one will have been taken too. So, I leave my car where it is (and p.s. it's a spot only open on the weekends, so I'll have to move it later anyway) and think about how nice it will be to have a driveway again someday.

Ash Wednesday

"You come from dust, and to dust you will return."

Oh Boy

Last Saturday I went to Flag and saw Stampead do their thang.  There is more to write about my little jaunt to Arizona, but for now...

A little history. If I were still on MySpace I'd be really dumb and link to a blog I wrote there about the first time Andrea and I stumbled onto this band.  Our band, as we like to say.  Thankfully, it no longer exists and I can pretend I didn't really write that story.  Ever since, we have had fun stalking these boys like it's our job.  I think the music is brilliant, but seriously, the icing on the cake is the audio/visual experience of watching them perform right in front of you.  This weekend we got to see them in action once again, and it was just as good as I remembered.

They played all of our favorites, which if you asked the other girls there with us they would tell you our favorite is every song they play, but I digress.  I still think Commotion is one of the greatest, Bang Our Glasses Again has the hottest guitar you'll ever hear, you can't help but smile when they play Milk & Honey, and Calm Me Down is the saddest song ever.  I love everything on their new album, but Don't Tease The Lion is definitely a fave.  My Widow and Funeral Train are sad, but beautifully written.  Oh Boy has the greatest first line to start the album and between that song and Alabama, it just captures my happiness, and Rain On Your Rooftop is a totally sweet love song...  I could go on and on.

[Side note: Isn't it fantastic to watch people do what they love?  No matter what it may be.  I have no musical aspirations, but seeing these guys do what they are meant to do is totally inspiring.]

[Side note to Katie June: Don't read any further.  It's for the best.] 

They had a new kid with them this time, David, playing keys.  He was a total kick in the pants!

Can I just say that Ivan is possibly the most adorable human being on the planet? I want to put his joyful self right in my pocket.  I can never understand what he is saying, but he's just so damn happy!

And Sean is just one of those people that you feel instantly comfortable around, like you've known him forever. And he is an uber talented drummer. I think they hide him in the back because they know he's really the coolest.

But those Jewish boys, I tell you what: I just can't get enough of 'em. I stand firm in the belief that if everyone just watched Eric do his thing on the harmonica it could bring world peace. He's also quite possibly the most amazing guitar player ever. And that hair... good god.

I kind of had an Andrea-head-tilt-"huh" moment watching Judd perform. I absolutely love the lyrics he writes, love to watch him belt out songs with that voice, oh boy - that voice (lol!), and I like that he seems a bit shy in person. (Because I totally make up their lives in my head, of course.)  Anyway, he caught me watching him a couple of times and held my eyes while he sang. Man, those boys know how to work it. I guarantee there isn't a girl in the world who has watched them put on a show and not wanted to fuck everything in sight afterwards. I'm just sayin'.

01.20.09

I've been counting down to this day for a few years now.  Literally.  

When I started that countdown I didn't even know who would be running for President.  I certainly didn't know I'd be this happy and thankful for who would end up as number 44.  I'm pleased that the majority of Americans cast their vote for Obama.  And I hope others will soon be able to clearly see that he's not the foreign terrorist they thought he was, but a decent man, a fellow American, who is doing his part to bring as much change for the good of all people as he knows how.

He's not a savior, just a man, but a man that inspires, and hopefully, brings change.

The Deep Freeze of '08

In the beginning it was just light flutters of cute little snowflakes.  It was fun to curl up with a blanket and eat cozy food.

And then those little snowflakes got serious and were pouring down like crazy!

This is the ice that sealed my car shut.

And more ice frozen on top of the snow...

But it sure is fun to play in!

And I have the best neighbor, Tyler, who is diligent in keeping our sidewalks cleared and helped me get my car open.  Have I mentioned I love this city? 

Good night

I'm sitting in my favorite chair in the apartment reflecting on a wonderful evening and a wonderful life.  There are dishes piled high in the kitchen and it still smells like cornbread and chili in here.  Last night I invited a couple of friends over for dinner this evening and they in turn invited a couple of friends and we all ate a warm, comforting meal together and shared stories.  Part of me kept thinking of all the other people in the neighborhood that I wanted to invite over, too, but my apartment couldn't hold them all at once - and what a beautiful thing it is to know so many lovely people to invite into my home.  Mostly I'm just amazed by how none of us knew each other just a few short months ago, and here we sat squeezed together around my coffee table tonight sharing each other's company like we were old friends.

I was having a conversation a couple of weeks ago with my beautiful friend, Tonya, and we were talking about prayer and God and these sorts of things, and she said something to me about moving to Portland... like didn't I feel called to be here?  And I answered something like, "No... I mean, I guess not.  I certainly prayed about moving, but I don't feel like God said YES or NO about moving.  It's not really a yes or no kind of question - I mean it's just going to make life different, but there is nothing inherently  good or bad about it."  But I've been thinking about that question a lot lately.  And I think I just might want to change that answer.  I feel like I'm at home in Portland.  I felt it every time I came to visit last year, and I still feel it every day now.  This is just where I am supposed to be.  I love it so much.  And I love the people.  People I would never know if I hadn't moved.  It is like I was called.  And I'm so glad I took the risk and answered.

Can we still be friends?

Internet, here's the thing: I moved to Portland, I now go to church in a bar and I've recently stopped shampooing my hair.  I totally understand if you want to see other people.  If, however, you are willing to love me even though I've gone off the deep end, I just want you to know I love you back.

Reading cookie recipes

I stop reading as soon as they list margarine or butter in the ingredients.  I can't take your recipe seriously if you would consider using fake butter, even though you're allowing me to use the real thing.  Sorry.

My weekend

I know what you're thinking... same day pictures?  There must be something wrong with her.  But don't worry, there will be a total lack of blogging to accompany these photos.

Annie B.

It was just before summer, 1997, and I was spending a lot of time at my boyfriend's house.  One day a calico cat showed up on the property and much to every one's dislike: I fed her.  Naturally, she stuck around and eventually grew on everyone.  I even caught her in the house a time or two because they took pity on her (and secretly liked her).  A few weeks later the new cat had kittens.  Six of them!  Right there in the shed.  My boyfriend's parents were thrilled.  Sadly, days later, before the newborn kittens even had their eyes open, we found the cat dead by the cow barn.  One of the brother's girlfriends helped me take care of the kittens.  We fed them special milk out of tiny little kitty bottles and washed them with our finger in a washcloth to simulate the feeling of their mother's tongue, we played with them and cuddled with them all the live long day.  There were two all black kitties, two black with white markings and two calico girls - one long haired, one short.  When they were ready to break from the litter we had to find them new homes right away.  One stray cat was one thing, six were another.

I begged my mom to take one of the kitties.  We already had Stubby, but I convinced her he needed a friend.  She only wanted a calico.  The cutest by far was the long haired, but a little girl wanted her, so she took the short hair - which was really my favorite anyway, she was the most playful.  And so was the beginning of Little Orphan Annie.

  

We called her Annie B., Annie Bananie and Stinky.  She was the best!  She would purr and purr and purr so loudly.  She loved to be rubbed right under her little white chin and her spotted, leopard belly.  She had beautiful markings, especially the black lining around her eyes.  She was just the sweetest thing, which I always thought was because she had been handled so much since she was born and didn't grow up learning about hunting for food or defending herself.  She learned quick enough with Stubby around!  They were so cute together.  But unlike Stubby, Annie took everything in stride whether it be golden retrievers or moving and road trips.  Nothing phased her, she just kept on purring.

She was eleven years old when she died this morning.  She had been my comfort through divorce and moving and starting over more than once.  It was always wonderful to go home and see her.  I'm so thankful to have had the kitties with me this summer.  I miss them both so much, but I have an extra sadness today.  I love you, Annie.

Emergency twenty

I was probably ten or so.  My mom has her wallet out.  It's black and when you open it it flips up over the top and there are two rows of cards side-by-side.  In the pocket of the first one on the left there is a twenty dollar bill folded up and tucked behind her Costco card.  It's her "emergency twenty" and she tells me when I have money that I need to always keep a twenty dollar bill in my wallet just in case.  I still do it to this day.  I even fold it up just like she did and tuck it in a hidden spot in my wallet.  Tonight someone asked me for a twenty, and although I don't really carry cash, I had my secret stash thanks to my mama.

Don't act like you didn't know this was coming

It's frickin' freezing in Portland!  I heart the fall, I really do.  But it's so damn cold in my apartment that my toes are about to snap off.  I just want to snuggle into my new fleece sheets and come back out next June.

I miss them

I miss them.  I miss them more than anyone could possibly miss someone they met for only a day or two and couldn't even speak their language.  My heart longs for them.  I find myself staring at their pictures and smiling!

Laptop lunchin' it

I haven't read this book, but I beg to differ! Because I am totally interested in what these people are eating for lunch.  I've been watching this flickr group for awhile now, and I'm totally hooked. I got myself a little bento box so I could join in the fun.  It has totally made me want to pack a lunch before work, and I can't even begin to tell you what a feat that is.  I haven't been going to the market much (except for baking ingredients!), so I've just been throwing stuff together.  There isn't a lot of thought or variety in my bento yet.  But you just wait!  I'm so excited for fall and winter and all the yummy comfort foods.  And for extra motivation to pack my lunch: I don't want to have to leave work and walk in the rain to eat.  This lunch box is going to get a lot of use!

Since Maggie says y'all don't care what I have for lunch I'll try to contain myself.  But if you want to know... it'll be on flickr!  And if the LL bug bites you, too, I want to know!

It really is the thought that counts

A package arrived with specific instructions plastered on the front not to open until Saturday morning.  If there is any willpower I possess, it is the willpower not to open a gift until the actual day of my birthday.

I have pretty great friends.  (I should write about them more.  I don't think I ever did post the blog I wrote about the road trip cds they made me when I moved to Oregon, but if I had, you would know just how great truly they are!)  Take Katie for example.  She says to me the other day, "I'm the best at buying useless things for presents, but I know you don't want useless things, so..."  And she's right.  I don't want to consume anymore useless stuff.  Being the sweet friend that she is, she thought up really cute ideas instead, and even got her rhyme on.  I loved it!

First, she sent me to the Flavour Spot for waffles.  She was on the phone with me when I pulled up and my reaction was something like this, "Uh, Katie?  This isn't a restaurant.  It's like one of those drive-thru coffee huts, except you can't drive through...  I love this city!"  I told the guy at the counter why I was there and that I had specific instructions about coming here for waffles.  He was baffled that someone in Phoenix who had never been to the Flavour Spot found it and got me there.  "Freakin' Internet!" was his reaction.  And then he gave me free orange juice because it was my birthday!

While I was enjoying my breakfast I had a weird little phone conversation with some guy who said he was at my apartment with a delivery.  So, I returned home to find him waiting with this:

Aileen totally surprised me with this awesome fruit arrangement!  It was completely as yummy as it looks, too.  After the special delivery, I was headed out on my next set of instructions: Cupcake Jones.  They were so excited when I walked in and asked about an order for Katie.  They said they had been talking about me all morning!  They were so cute.

And I was pretty shocked at how fabulous these cupcakes were.  I had the Downtown Cupcake Brown on another occasion or two, so I knew I LOVED the chocolate.  In fact, I loved it so much, I never would have tried anything else.  Good thing I have friends to help me branch out!  The Pearl (vanilla) was absolutely phenomenal!  I text Katie and said I was no longer a racist cupcaker.  I have her to thank.  The Rootbeer Float was super good, too, and tasted exactly like a rootbeer float!

After all the running around PDX (hi, katie!) I drove down to Salem to have lunch with Sheila.  We had some yummy Mexican food and good conversation.  Then I headed over the Davis's to chill for a bit.  The kids picked these flowers for me.  Aren't they so sweet?!

To end the day I spent it baking in my cute itty-bitty kitchen while blasting Stampead.  I got a great voicemail from Andrea during all of this.  I can't understand what she's saying, but I can hear "Commotion" clear as day playing in the background!  I love that band.

A totally wonderful birthday, thanks to my generous friends.  I really can't say enough about how nice it was to get texts, calls and surprises throughout the day.

And I'm trying not to think about what it means that food was the theme everyone thought of when it came to me.  If only I had willpower for that!

Some thoughts about church

So the thing I think I like most about Evergreen is that they don't have it all ironed out.  Which is really a more honest picture of this whole experience that is Life when you get right down to it anyway, don't ya think?  And not to say that they are wishy-washy, or don't know what their beliefs are, but it's more like they don't think in extremes: black or white, all right or all wrong, etc.  And I believe this is found throughout the Bible.  Do this, but don't do this.  It's that way, but it's not that way.  But it's not contradictory (and I fully see how this sounds like non-sense), but once again ding-ding-ding! it's all about a relationship, not rules and check-lists, and when you see that you can start to understand what He's really saying.  And I think Evergreen has figured out that church is not here to set up rules and concrete beliefs about x, y, z issues and for you to pick a side.  But that church is here for community (relationships!) and for that community to love the world (more relationship!).  And that is something I can definitely get on board with.

I could tell I was home by the smell of the river

I'm fairly sure it's not a good idea for me to be blogging right now because I may or may not have treated myself to a couple martinis after work to celebrate finishing my first week at the firm.  So, I'll keep it brief and just make a note here that today at lunch I walked down along the water front (river front? whatever they call it.), and I immediately remembered why I moved here.  Because it is home.  My home.  The smell of the water was instant confirmation.  I love it here, and I'm so grateful to be back!

My new friend, Gene

Tonight I was out wandering the neighborhood, looking for the bus stop I'll need for work, when I ran into Gene.  He was folding some clothes he just got for free and said he needed a bag to put them in, so I offered to give him an Ecobag.  When I came back from my car with the bag we ended up talking for a couple of hours.  He is homeless right now, and struggles with addiction, but is going to recovery meetings and is on a list for housing.  He was all over the place tonight, and couldn't sit still.  However, I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation.  We talked about philosophy, theology, politics, homelessness, etc.  I wish I'd had a notebook with me because he has quite a wealth of knowledge!  I'm sure we could have talked for many more hours, but it was getting late, so I needed to get home.  We're planning to meet next week at Powell's, where he's going to introduce me to The Loeb Classics.  I can hardly wait!

Worky-worky

So, I got a job.  I'm so thankful to end the draining cycle of my savings account, and the firm seems very nice.  I'm looking forward to meeting new people and feeling like I've accomplished something at the end of the day.  As much as I have l-o-v-e-d this little break, I have to admit that there is something a little unnatural about doing nothing with your day for this many days on end.  I'm ready to get back to work!  Now, I have to go shopping.  Too bad I can't wear jeans everyday like my last job!