It Sucked and then I Cried

Tonya Jean, as promised, here are the pictures:





One of those books has your name on it!

Oh Boy

Last Saturday I went to Flag and saw Stampead do their thang.  There is more to write about my little jaunt to Arizona, but for now...

A little history. If I were still on MySpace I'd be really dumb and link to a blog I wrote there about the first time Andrea and I stumbled onto this band.  Our band, as we like to say.  Thankfully, it no longer exists and I can pretend I didn't really write that story.  Ever since, we have had fun stalking these boys like it's our job.  I think the music is brilliant, but seriously, the icing on the cake is the audio/visual experience of watching them perform right in front of you.  This weekend we got to see them in action once again, and it was just as good as I remembered.

They played all of our favorites, which if you asked the other girls there with us they would tell you our favorite is every song they play, but I digress.  I still think Commotion is one of the greatest, Bang Our Glasses Again has the hottest guitar you'll ever hear, you can't help but smile when they play Milk & Honey, and Calm Me Down is the saddest song ever.  I love everything on their new album, but Don't Tease The Lion is definitely a fave.  My Widow and Funeral Train are sad, but beautifully written.  Oh Boy has the greatest first line to start the album and between that song and Alabama, it just captures my happiness, and Rain On Your Rooftop is a totally sweet love song...  I could go on and on.

[Side note: Isn't it fantastic to watch people do what they love?  No matter what it may be.  I have no musical aspirations, but seeing these guys do what they are meant to do is totally inspiring.]

[Side note to Katie June: Don't read any further.  It's for the best.] 

They had a new kid with them this time, David, playing keys.  He was a total kick in the pants!

Can I just say that Ivan is possibly the most adorable human being on the planet? I want to put his joyful self right in my pocket.  I can never understand what he is saying, but he's just so damn happy!

And Sean is just one of those people that you feel instantly comfortable around, like you've known him forever. And he is an uber talented drummer. I think they hide him in the back because they know he's really the coolest.

But those Jewish boys, I tell you what: I just can't get enough of 'em. I stand firm in the belief that if everyone just watched Eric do his thing on the harmonica it could bring world peace. He's also quite possibly the most amazing guitar player ever. And that hair... good god.

I kind of had an Andrea-head-tilt-"huh" moment watching Judd perform. I absolutely love the lyrics he writes, love to watch him belt out songs with that voice, oh boy - that voice (lol!), and I like that he seems a bit shy in person. (Because I totally make up their lives in my head, of course.)  Anyway, he caught me watching him a couple of times and held my eyes while he sang. Man, those boys know how to work it. I guarantee there isn't a girl in the world who has watched them put on a show and not wanted to fuck everything in sight afterwards. I'm just sayin'.

The Deep Freeze of '08

In the beginning it was just light flutters of cute little snowflakes.  It was fun to curl up with a blanket and eat cozy food.

And then those little snowflakes got serious and were pouring down like crazy!

This is the ice that sealed my car shut.

And more ice frozen on top of the snow...

But it sure is fun to play in!

And I have the best neighbor, Tyler, who is diligent in keeping our sidewalks cleared and helped me get my car open.  Have I mentioned I love this city? 

Good night

I'm sitting in my favorite chair in the apartment reflecting on a wonderful evening and a wonderful life.  There are dishes piled high in the kitchen and it still smells like cornbread and chili in here.  Last night I invited a couple of friends over for dinner this evening and they in turn invited a couple of friends and we all ate a warm, comforting meal together and shared stories.  Part of me kept thinking of all the other people in the neighborhood that I wanted to invite over, too, but my apartment couldn't hold them all at once - and what a beautiful thing it is to know so many lovely people to invite into my home.  Mostly I'm just amazed by how none of us knew each other just a few short months ago, and here we sat squeezed together around my coffee table tonight sharing each other's company like we were old friends.

I was having a conversation a couple of weeks ago with my beautiful friend, Tonya, and we were talking about prayer and God and these sorts of things, and she said something to me about moving to Portland... like didn't I feel called to be here?  And I answered something like, "No... I mean, I guess not.  I certainly prayed about moving, but I don't feel like God said YES or NO about moving.  It's not really a yes or no kind of question - I mean it's just going to make life different, but there is nothing inherently  good or bad about it."  But I've been thinking about that question a lot lately.  And I think I just might want to change that answer.  I feel like I'm at home in Portland.  I felt it every time I came to visit last year, and I still feel it every day now.  This is just where I am supposed to be.  I love it so much.  And I love the people.  People I would never know if I hadn't moved.  It is like I was called.  And I'm so glad I took the risk and answered.

My weekend

I know what you're thinking... same day pictures?  There must be something wrong with her.  But don't worry, there will be a total lack of blogging to accompany these photos.

A flood of emotions

I've been all over the place tonight.  Much too much to write about, but just a little bit ago I received a text from a friend.  Attached was a picture of her brand new baby BOY!  What a wonderful, beautiful surprise it was to see his little face.  It immediately brought tears of joy to my eyes.  Her story is one of great faith and hope and redemption.  And it's been amazing to see her carry it out.  This one little cell phone picture wrapped it all up.  All of what she's been through to come to this.  This miracle.  I look forward to her continuing story with this new love in her life.  So beautiful!  I love her dearly and I'm so thankful to call her friend.

Experiments in whole wheat and rambling

I decided to make these fabulous scones again this morning.  This time to keep all for myself.  Muahahhahahaha.  Then I decided to try them with a little whole wheat.  I'm sure you are thinking: Don't Mess With The Scone, Katie.  And you would be right.  These scones are purely delightful, and once you dump in cream and butter what's a little white flour?  Seriously.  Don't mess with the scone.  I did 1/4 whole wheat pastry flour to 3/4 white just as a small test.  They are still edible, good even.  Just not the delicious wonder they are when not messed with.  Oh, and did I mention I used the left over cream from last week and it was lumpy?  But I called Katie (who was also baking this morning!) and she reminded me that we eat sour cream, cottage cheese and all sorts of other nasty, curdled dairy, so I wasn't likely to die.

Leah requested a photo of my apron.  Did I mention I actually made this apron, too?  Seriously, I can get so much dorkier if you just stick around.  So here it is: me in all my nerdy glory, frosting a cake.

To lessen the complete loser I've proven myself to be, last night I went out for happy hour.  Betsy and I checked out the Sweet Basil in our neighborhood.  We weren't sure what to order, so our server said he would just pick a few things for us and bring them out.  So adventurous!  (This is seriously the exciting part of the evening.  Now that I've written this I'm not sure why it's the part that makes me feel like less of a loser.)  Everything was great, and the food was like $2.50 but the catch is you have to buy a full price drink for about $7.  Kinda silly.  After dinner we walked up to Washington Park.  I hadn't been there before.  The rose garden is amazing!  It just keeps going forever.  We also walked around Twenty-third and stopped at Bleuet for frozen yogurt.  This was like serious frozen yogurt, not the stuff that tastes like ice cream.  It was more like someone put plain old yogurt right in the freezer, ate it, thought it was good and opened a yogurt shop.  I didn't like it so much, but the shop design was cute!

Betsy borrowed the book Jesus for President and is getting ready to read it, so we talked about politics a little.  I was saying how I just wish someone could please explain to me how in the world the Republican party thinks it lines up with Christian values, because it makes absolutely no sense to me.  She said the thing she liked was the idea of smaller government.  She felt that if all of the government programs weren't around then people would help people at a more personal level, rather than a large government agency that loses track of people and money.  She said it more eloquently, of course, but it was the first time I could see where they were coming from with that idea.  I still don't agree at all.  It's totally idealistic and I don't think it would ever work for many, many, many reasons, but at least she didn't have to attack anyone to get her idea across.  It was a nice change.  Because reading comments from posts like this, this and this only fuel the fire of hatred that burns in my soul towards the extreme right.  And I know they feel the same toward liberals.  How are ever going to get over ourselves and DO instead of ARGUE?  I'm so over the sides and corrupted politicians and the hate I feel... and suddenly I remember there is another option.  Jesus.

It really is the thought that counts

A package arrived with specific instructions plastered on the front not to open until Saturday morning.  If there is any willpower I possess, it is the willpower not to open a gift until the actual day of my birthday.

I have pretty great friends.  (I should write about them more.  I don't think I ever did post the blog I wrote about the road trip cds they made me when I moved to Oregon, but if I had, you would know just how great truly they are!)  Take Katie for example.  She says to me the other day, "I'm the best at buying useless things for presents, but I know you don't want useless things, so..."  And she's right.  I don't want to consume anymore useless stuff.  Being the sweet friend that she is, she thought up really cute ideas instead, and even got her rhyme on.  I loved it!

First, she sent me to the Flavour Spot for waffles.  She was on the phone with me when I pulled up and my reaction was something like this, "Uh, Katie?  This isn't a restaurant.  It's like one of those drive-thru coffee huts, except you can't drive through...  I love this city!"  I told the guy at the counter why I was there and that I had specific instructions about coming here for waffles.  He was baffled that someone in Phoenix who had never been to the Flavour Spot found it and got me there.  "Freakin' Internet!" was his reaction.  And then he gave me free orange juice because it was my birthday!

While I was enjoying my breakfast I had a weird little phone conversation with some guy who said he was at my apartment with a delivery.  So, I returned home to find him waiting with this:

Aileen totally surprised me with this awesome fruit arrangement!  It was completely as yummy as it looks, too.  After the special delivery, I was headed out on my next set of instructions: Cupcake Jones.  They were so excited when I walked in and asked about an order for Katie.  They said they had been talking about me all morning!  They were so cute.

And I was pretty shocked at how fabulous these cupcakes were.  I had the Downtown Cupcake Brown on another occasion or two, so I knew I LOVED the chocolate.  In fact, I loved it so much, I never would have tried anything else.  Good thing I have friends to help me branch out!  The Pearl (vanilla) was absolutely phenomenal!  I text Katie and said I was no longer a racist cupcaker.  I have her to thank.  The Rootbeer Float was super good, too, and tasted exactly like a rootbeer float!

After all the running around PDX (hi, katie!) I drove down to Salem to have lunch with Sheila.  We had some yummy Mexican food and good conversation.  Then I headed over the Davis's to chill for a bit.  The kids picked these flowers for me.  Aren't they so sweet?!

To end the day I spent it baking in my cute itty-bitty kitchen while blasting Stampead.  I got a great voicemail from Andrea during all of this.  I can't understand what she's saying, but I can hear "Commotion" clear as day playing in the background!  I love that band.

A totally wonderful birthday, thanks to my generous friends.  I really can't say enough about how nice it was to get texts, calls and surprises throughout the day.

And I'm trying not to think about what it means that food was the theme everyone thought of when it came to me.  If only I had willpower for that!

It's fun to play with kids, and then give them back to the parents when you're done

I have had so much fun the last couple of days! Tonya, Will and I decided spur of the moment to go to the beach yesterday. Watching Will toddle around in the sand and put his feet in the water was so cute. To see the wonder and excitement rolling around in his little head was priceless. And then there was the aquarium. Fishes! Fishes! Fishes! Kids get SO excited, and I kept thinking all day how Jesus tells us to be like these little ones.

Tonight I got to hang out with the Davis kids while their parents had a night out, and let me tell you, I am beat. The whole fam went to the pool this afternoon after school, then we came back to the house and ate pizza and watched The Bee Movie, then rode bikes outside, played on the swings, played pickle (where I learned I can actually throw and catch a baseball - yay!), caught frogs, watched High School Musical 2 (gag, btw). I can hardly keep up with these kids, but they are so much fun!

Tomorrow I get to go to Lucy's first birthday party! It's so wonderful to be around all these happy little kiddos!

Just a little story with a rant thrown in because it's my blog

So my friend, Kel, did a sweet thing for me when I was getting ready to leave on the mission to Africa.  She thought of something personal & meaningful to give me as an encouragement, rather than going out & buying something trivial.  You see when she was leaving for England I gave her this cheesy magnet.  I knew that it may have seemed silly and cheap to her, but I risked giving it anyway because it was something special to me.  A very special friend had given it to me once, and it said something about not knowing where life is going, but you can always trust in the Lord.  I think it was ceramic & had a butterfly on it.  Maybe not a piece of decor exactly, but it was meaningful and a wonderful reminder to me on many rough days, so it was the significance more than the magnet that I wanted to pass on to my friend.  So I was touched when she passed on a book to me that had been special to her.

It traveled to Africa with me, but I must admit I couldn’t read it.  Those ten days were filled with so much emotion that I couldn’t process, I didn’t dare pick up that book for fear that it could send me right over the edge.  But now I’m sitting here in Oregon, waiting... waiting for the keys to my apartment, waiting for a call back on a job, waiting to find new church, waiting to meet new people, just waiting.  So I picked up the book.  It’s one I’ve heard of before, but hadn’t ever looked at.  It’s coauthored by John Eldridge and I’ve read several other books by him that I loved, but that was several years ago and my relationship with God and my perspective of Christianity has changed drastically since then.  I was worried I wouldn’t really get into it too much.  Every little bit, like I do with everything these days, I’ll pause and wonder, but how would this related to someone in a village in Malawi... and how can it be relevant if it doesn’t?  We are ALL created in God’s image.

[Rant ahead, you may want to skip the next paragraph.]

And so this is my latest struggle with being American.  I’m so focused on my life, where I live, where I work, what church I will attend and worship God, how I am growing in my relationship with Him, am I good enough, do I reduce reuse recycle enough, should I return that mattress foam topper because it’s not environmentally friendly and I’m being a brat that the free bed I got is too hard?  Gag.  The people I met are spending more of their day walking to get clean water, harvesting the food they are going to cook over a fire, and hoping to keep themselves and their children alive, and I’m shopping for bed foam.  But this is the society I live in.  I don’t know anyone here who has to struggle with getting clean water.  I’ve been buying mine in bottles at Costco for the last ten years.  How do I live and function in this society, and not just pray for Africa, but really help Africa?  How can they not just look at all of us and shake their heads in pity of our selfish meaninglessness?

[End rant.]

That aside, I must say this book has really gripped me.  I don’t know if God is just trying to be funny with His timing or if He’s really about to rock my world in a way I wasn’t expecting.  But this book is about the fourth instance in a row that has made me think hmm, could it be?  nah, huh-uh... well, maybe? about my future.  Haven’t I had enough major life changes lately?  Can’t I just chill in Portland for a while?  But on the other hand, do I really want to?  Isn’t God’s plan always crazy, but end up being way better?!  Maybe I just have an overactive imagination.

Parenthetically

I was just getting ready to pack up the computer for the big move and thought I'd take a minute to post a little something before I hit the road.  The last two days have been an awesome time of hanging out with friends!  Yesterday afternoon Andrea organized a little get together at Fair Trade Cafe downtown (I heart that place!).  Some Poiema peeps and "old" friends came and brought me mixed cds for my road trip.  I am so stoked to pop those puppies in and listen to great tunes while barreling down the freeway!  I also got some really sweet letters, cards, pictures and an amazing Poverty and Justice Bible!  The most creative goes to Cash, since he broke the rules and created a Facebook profile for me.  I've resisted for months, but like it or not, I guess I'm a Facebooker now.  It was so wonderful to get to talk about Africa and Portland and just hang out together.  Afterwards we hit up LGO for gelato (first!) and my last avocado pizza for a long time.  It was just so nice to be surrounded by good friends and it didn't feel like a "goodbye" at all.  I'm still in denial that I won't be seeing everyone next week.

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Uh.  Wow.  I'm moving to another state tomorrow.  When did this happen?

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So this morning I went downtown to see my brother and say goodbye.  It wasn't so bad, thanks to my friend, Katie (who needs a blog I can link to).  Then I went to my last service and said like the one millionth goodbye (Ohio, Africa, Portland... I'm sure they are thinking when is she just going to leave already?).  Katie and I went to a little local Mexican restaurant for our last supper together and much to our surprise in came the Poiema herd!  So we had a nice long lunch chatting some more... and then another goodbye!  It still doesn't feel real.  But lucky for me there are plenty of trips already planned for Oregon, so I'll have lots of visitors!

I can't believe I'm doing this.  I must be crazy, but I'm pretty excited.  Ready to hit the road.  Ready to start the next phase.  Ready to see what God is going to teach me in Portland.  Bring it on!

My little boyfriend sharer, whom I love

One of my favorite people on this planet is a dear friend who I've loved from the first time I met her four years ago. Andrea knows no shame, and watching her has taught me to risk a little more than I did before.

Today, like most days, we were chatting on the very non-ghetto Gmail (hi, kel!) and I was suddenly cussing up a storm. I do this when I get stressed out. Sometimes it's just therapeutic to throw the F word around, ya know?

Anyway, it just made me pause and think about how thankful I am to have a friend like her. A friend who will let me drop the F bomb when necessary and not hold it against me later. Someday I will forgiver her for that one time she talked out loud about hairball babies.

Cornholio

My friends and I have a lovely three-way going. We pass books around three states for a cheap thrill. The latest whore: Omnivore's Dilemma. The first 120 pages or so are about corn. Seriously. So far I've learned about corn sex, which actually is quite fascinating (I know, I've hit a new low). In the next section he is talking about his experience with a corn farmer, and let me tell you: this grumpy farmer is a man after my own heart!

"Despite the promises, Naylor, unlike many of his neighbors, doesn't plant GMOs (genetically modified organisms). He has a gut distrust of the technology ("They're messing with three billion years of evolution") and doesn't think it's worth the extra twenty-five dollars a bag (in technology fees) they cost. "Sure, you might get a yield bump, but whatever you make on the extra corn goes right back to cover the premium for the seed. I fail to see why I should be laundering money for Mansanto."

God, if I ever have to marry again, can he please be a farmer?

I may only be 50 pages into this book, but already I'm quite sure this might be the best quote of all "...the shelled cobs were burned for heat and stacked by the privy as a rough substitute for toilet paper. (Hence the American slang term "corn hole.")" Nice!