12.18.2008

Missing the good old days

Office dialogue:

"Did you turn the A/C down again?  It's freezing in here.  Can you hear my teeth chattering?"

"Are you kidding?  Do you see the bead of sweat on my forehead?"

-----

"Are you hiding the plans now?"

"No. I just put things away when I'm done with them."

"Oh."

and a little later:

"Did you see how nice that was just now?  The way I walked over and found what you needed, BECAUSE I PUT IT AWAY."

"I can't hear you."

-----

"Did you have time to get together those reports?"

"Yes, and I called the bank and they already picked them up."

"I am unworthy."

"I know."

12.09.2008

Good night

I'm sitting in my favorite chair in the apartment reflecting on a wonderful evening and a wonderful life.  There are dishes piled high in the kitchen and it still smells like cornbread and chili in here.  Last night I invited a couple of friends over for dinner this evening and they in turn invited a couple of friends and we all ate a warm, comforting meal together and shared stories.  Part of me kept thinking of all the other people in the neighborhood that I wanted to invite over, too, but my apartment couldn't hold them all at once - and what a beautiful thing it is to know so many lovely people to invite into my home.  Mostly I'm just amazed by how none of us knew each other just a few short months ago, and here we sat squeezed together around my coffee table tonight sharing each other's company like we were old friends.

I was having a conversation a couple of weeks ago with my beautiful friend, Tonya, and we were talking about prayer and God and these sorts of things, and she said something to me about moving to Portland... like didn't I feel called to be here?  And I answered something like, "No... I mean, I guess not.  I certainly prayed about moving, but I don't feel like God said YES or NO about moving.  It's not really a yes or no kind of question - I mean it's just going to make life different, but there is nothing inherently  good or bad about it."  But I've been thinking about that question a lot lately.  And I think I just might want to change that answer.  I feel like I'm at home in Portland.  I felt it every time I came to visit last year, and I still feel it every day now.  This is just where I am supposed to be.  I love it so much.  And I love the people.  People I would never know if I hadn't moved.  It is like I was called.  And I'm so glad I took the risk and answered.

12.05.2008

Can we still be friends?

Internet, here's the thing: I moved to Portland, I now go to church in a bar and I've recently stopped shampooing my hair.  I totally understand if you want to see other people.  If, however, you are willing to love me even though I've gone off the deep end, I just want you to know I love you back.

11.22.2008

Reading cookie recipes

I stop reading as soon as they list margarine or butter in the ingredients.  I can't take your recipe seriously if you would consider using fake butter, even though you're allowing me to use the real thing.  Sorry.

11.16.2008

My weekend






I know what you're thinking... same day pictures?  There must be something wrong with her.  But don't worry, there will be a total lack of blogging to accompany these photos.

11.04.2008

I heart you, Portland

I live in the best place.  Even when I'm having a rough time, all I have to do is step out into my city and I become apart of it.  It's constantly moving and breathing and changing.  The community is rich with of the things that are important.  Not to mention, I'm pretty in love with the gorgeous fall we're experiencing.

Portland is all kinds of weird, and it's mine!

11.02.2008

Annie B.

It was just before summer, 1997, and I was spending a lot of time at my boyfriend's house.  One day a calico cat showed up on the property and much to every one's dislike: I fed her.  Naturally, she stuck around and eventually grew on everyone.  I even caught her in the house a time or two because they took pity on her (and secretly liked her).  A few weeks later the new cat had kittens.  Six of them!  Right there in the shed.  My boyfriend's parents were thrilled.  Sadly, days later, before the newborn kittens even had their eyes open, we found the cat dead by the cow barn.  One of the brother's girlfriends helped me take care of the kittens.  We fed them special milk out of tiny little kitty bottles and washed them with our finger in a washcloth to simulate the feeling of their mother's tongue, we played with them and cuddled with them all the live long day.  There were two all black kitties, two black with white markings and two calico girls - one long haired, one short.  When they were ready to break from the litter we had to find them new homes right away.  One stray cat was one thing, six were another.

I begged my mom to take one of the kitties.  We already had Stubby, but I convinced her he needed a friend.  She only wanted a calico.  The cutest by far was the long haired, but a little girl wanted her, so she took the short hair - which was really my favorite anyway, she was the most playful.  And so was the beginning of Little Orphan Annie.
  
We called her Annie B., Annie Bananie and Stinky.  She was the best!  She would purr and purr and purr so loudly.  She loved to be rubbed right under her little white chin and her spotted, leopard belly.  She had beautiful markings, especially the black lining around her eyes.  She was just the sweetest thing, which I always thought was because she had been handled so much since she was born and didn't grow up learning about hunting for food or defending herself.  She learned quick enough with Stubby around!  They were so cute together.  But unlike Stubby, Annie took everything in stride whether it be golden retrievers or moving and road trips.  Nothing phased her, she just kept on purring.

She was eleven years old when she died this morning.  She had been my comfort through divorce and moving and starting over more than once.  It was always wonderful to go home and see her.  I'm so thankful to have had the kitties with me this summer.  I miss them both so much, but I have an extra sadness today.  I love you, Annie.

10.23.2008

Texting

me: Listening to Oh Boy, lusting after that harmonica.  GOOD LORD... pretty sure this album could be the end of my salvation.

ae: Just downloaded Oh Boy last night.  See you in hell!

10.22.2008

Emergency twenty

I was probably ten or so.  My mom has her wallet out.  It's black and when you open it it flips up over the top and there are two rows of cards side-by-side.  In the pocket of the first one on the left there is a twenty dollar bill folded up and tucked behind her Costco card.  It's her "emergency twenty" and she tells me when I have money that I need to always keep a twenty dollar bill in my wallet just in case.  I still do it to this day.  I even fold it up just like she did and tuck it in a hidden spot in my wallet.  Tonight someone asked me for a twenty, and although I don't really carry cash, I had my secret stash thanks to my mama.

10.14.2008

Ten-four

When I was little my dad had a huge shop in the way back of the property.  He'd spend hours and hours back there working on Beauty, his 1941 Willys coupe.  We had intercoms in the house and the shop, and occasionally my mom would tell me to call Daddy and let him know dinner was ready.  So I would and I remember he would always respond "ten-four."  I had no idea why he liked those numbers so much or what made him pick them every single time.  I just thought he was funny.  So then I would say back, "ten-six!" or "ten-eight!" and giggle like crazy.