Reality

It's like adulthood has all of a sudden settled in this week.  And I'm completely not okay with this.  I think this has come about partly because I'm finally living in my very own space.  Like seriously, for the first time in my life.  I moved out when I was 17, but I moved into a basement apartment in my Grandparent's house, so it wasn't totally like being on my own & half of the basement was still filled with their things, so it wasn't really "my space".  Then I got married & lived in base housing.  Lame.  Then with parents & roommates ever since.  So not only am I finally in my own apartment where everything is mine, but my parents are in town visiting this weekend, so I'm hosting & feeling all adult having my parents in "my home".  So there is that, and the fact that I'm stressing about the lack of income.  I got my quarterly insurance bill in the mail today & wanted to cry.  Like it's not bad enough getting raped for health insurance premiums when you have a job... this just sucks.  Do I really fork out a small fortune for the just in case, when I might need that small fortune to keep this roof over my head if I'm not employed soon?  (Not to even mention the fact that this money could be put to better use by feeding hundreds of orphans in Africa, but don't even get me started.)  On the other hand, can I afford not to?  What if?  Sometimes being an adult is less than fun.  I'm not really enjoying this little life choice right now.